A week gone by...

A week has passed since I blogged. A wonderful complicated week. Change is always coming and going...thus change. Change in relationships is a hard one for me. I was hanging out with an old buddy and had no quam about conversions, it flowed freely and openly. But then I sat and chatted with another old friend and it was a struggle for conversation. Why is it that relationships have so many ups and downs? Is it the changes we all go through? Growing and learning from each other. We get what we need from friends at the time we need them. I find it hard to understand how one day you can be so close with someone then the next be so distant. It is hard for me to handle. I long for times when friendships were just there and enjoyed, but not work. But then there is the old saying if you have to work at it is it worth it....or something like that. I have a change in friendships coming...I'm meeting with another old friend. At one point in time we were best friends, totally inseparable. I'm excited but nervous to meet her. I'm not sure if I'm ready for the work of another relationship. I love my friends dearly and I know that I'm so very lucky, but I wonder sometimes how can I maintain so many friendships. I want them to all feel equal and loved. I want to not have the ups and downs. I want it all to just flow nicely... Maybe that is why we are close one day and not the next. Everyone has to go with the flow...