School started yesterday!!! I was nervous...(yes this blog is ALL about me) SO many new things would he cope ok, would him eating his lunch be ok, would the friends in his class be ok, would he get along without me in the classroom ok. The answer to all of that is yes!!! he did perfect, he rocked actually!!! He was a bit nervous in the beginning...but by the end of the day he came home happy and set to go again.
I had it rough...not sure why but I cried like a big baby!! I had trouble breathing I FREAKED out like a crazy momma!! I tried oh so hard to not let it show for him...but my emotions are on my sleeves and my kids already know that. I'm not sure if I was crying for me, for him, or both I was sad because I"m letting go of my boy for the 1st real time. Yeah he started school last year but I was in good control last year....I was in class 3 days a week!!! This year I will be lucky if it is 3 hours and that is hard for me. We have sooo many parent volunteers in the class that I think there will be cat fights on the playground to see who gets to help out!!!
Then the stress of his allergies was bugging me...not knowing how things really work and not knowing if the yard duty people would really care enough to pay attention. There are 4 yard ladies I can't say that any of them impresses me. The 1st greeted me with "oh my son has allergies too, we went to the ER last week for it...but his is 22 and deals with things himself" Ok it started out comforting than quickly went down hill. Then 2 of the ladies really could of careless, not shaking my hand, not asking my name or his, nothing. They told me to go talk to the lunch lady so she was more aware than them....Hello if he isn't buying lunch she needs to know but you guys are the ones watching him eat. If he makes an error in judgement and eats something from another kid are you going to save his life. Yes I know they aren't suppose to share food, but is that really what goes on....I was a 6 year old once!!! The last lady was REALLY nice so we have some hope. She talked at great lengths to me and gave me some lunch ideas. How to help him keep it separated. She was great...to bad she sits on the playground and not in the quad when they actually eat lunch. I know he isn't the 1st allergy kid nor will he be the last but please give his momma a bit of peace of mind that he will be fine. I try so hard not to make a big deal but it is even if his allergy is small it exists and shouldn't be taken lightly!!!
And if that all wasn't enough.....my work called and said if I wanted to work "on call" I would loose 5 bucks and hour and not be able to perform my current position. A tiny back story....I put in my 2 weeks notice 2 weeks ago after 16 years....that was no easy task. Am I ready to quit??? sure I'm SOOOOO ready but do I want to quit??? that is the bigger question for me... When it comes time to find a job will I?? When it comes time to find a job will Hubby be patient as I find it?? Will I be able to come back if I wanted too (ta my old job)?? Will I be able to find a job making what I make now?? Will it be ask flexible as I need it to be with the kids and hubby's job?? I don't want my kids to ever be in daycare...that is just not for me!!!! So many questions and uncertainty....I just can't say for sure I"m done....that whole I hate change chiming in again!!!
SO the icing on the cake...which I will give no details & no back story for....Hubby's sister is getting married November 22nd...but hello she just got divorced and hello has 4 kids that she clearly isn't thinking about....all I can say there is UGH!!!!
Today will be better I can feel it!!!!